how do i stop my child being scared of the dentist

Fear of the dentist is usually learned, and children learn it fastest from the adults around them. A parent who says "don't worry, it won't hurt" with a worried face, or a grandparent who warns "if you don't brush, the doctor will give you an injection", has already told the child that something frightening is coming. The good news is that fear can also be unlearned.

Before the visit

• Go before there is pain. A first visit that is just counting teeth and riding the chair up and down builds trust. A first visit for a swollen, aching tooth does the opposite.
• Use simple, neutral words. "The dentist will count your teeth and check they are strong." Avoid words like hurt, pain, needle, injection and drill, even in the negative.
• Never use the dentist as a threat or a punishment.
• Play dentist at home. Count each other's teeth with a toothbrush and a torch. Picture books and short videos about a first dental visit help young children know what to expect.
• Keep your own story to yourself. If you had a bad experience as a child, don't share it in front of them.
• Pick the right time. A slot after a meal and a rest, not during nap time or after a long school day and a slow drive through traffic.

At the clinic

• Bring a favourite toy or soft blanket.
• Let the dentist lead the conversation with your child. Children's dentists use a method called tell-show-do: they explain an instrument in child-friendly words, show it (often on a finger or a toy), and only then use it.
• Stay calm and quiet in the room. Holding a hand helps; a running commentary of "be brave, be brave" usually doesn't.
• Agree on a stop signal, such as raising a hand, so your child feels in control.

After the visit

Praise specific things ("you opened really wide"), whatever happened. Skip the chocolate reward; a sticker, a trip to the park or choosing dinner works just as well and doesn't undo the visit.

What we can do

For children under 10, we recommend our MDS Pedodontics department. Pedodontists have specialist training in managing children's behaviour and anxiety as well as their teeth, and they see children at Kharadi by prior appointment. Our clinic is built around long appointment slots of about 80 minutes, so nobody needs to rush your child. Our registration form also asks about anxiety, so tell us at booking if your child is very fearful and the visit can be planned around that.

Be honest with yourself about limits too. A very young child with many deep cavities may not cope with long treatment in the chair, however gentle the dentist. The specialist will discuss the options with you, which often means spreading treatment over several shorter visits, starting with the easiest tooth. You can book through our booking engine or call 8484 990 678. More on children's teeth is on our kids' dentistry hub.